Beyond Occident

Charging into battle with Patrick Rothfuss (L to R, Myself, Patrick and List)

I was sitting in Altiora, a Spring Cricket in hand, diligently unraveling the mysteries of the universe. Then my pocket began vibrating. List came a-callin’.

Backstory: Last week List realized that Patrick Rothfuss, author of “The Name of the Wind”, would be book signing at the Indianapolis Public Library. This was one day before the legendary Gen-Con would begin.  The plan would be to head up that afternoon, stop at some fair for special fortune cookies, go to the book signing, spend the night somewhere and then head back to NKY the next day. Unfortunately, due to money and work related issues, most of us could not attend (including myself) and so the plan was cancelled.

Back to Altiora: It was 4 pm. T-minus 3 hours till book signing. List realized that if we cut out the fortune cookies (or so we thought…) and bust-a-move to Indianapolis, we could make it in time to be in the presence of one Mr. Rothfuss.

I teleported home and grabbed my copy of “The Name of the Wind” and met List for the dash to Indy, within legal limits of course. List drove. We made it to Indy in around two hours, just under the Mapquest time.

When I stepped into the Indianapolis Public Library, my breath was stricken from my body. It was a library, especially the fiction wing, that perfected the art of badass-ery. It mixed new and old styles of architecture rather swimmingly. And it had four floors. The fantasy/science fiction section alone was the size of my hometown library.

Entrance to the fiction section

After walking through part of the library, we headed to the auditorium where everything was going down. I was happy to learn that there would be a costume contest, and following that, Patrick Rothfuss himself would speak to us mere mortals. There was not many people in the costume contest, but three of the contestants in the fantasy category were the Bennets from Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. This itself was thrilling.

Then Patrick began speaking. He first showcased a chunk of a “Not-for-Childrens” childrens book that will hopefully be released sometime soon. This was fantastic. The current title is “The Princess and the Thing”, but Rothfuss assured us that that would change. At first blush, after looking at the sweet art and the innocent beginning of the story, one might assume that it was just another picture book for the kiddies. But horrifying things would begin happening at the marzipan castle. We’ll leave it at that. Also read was an excerpt to “The Wise Man’s Fear”, the sequel to “The Name of the Wind”. Apparently, “The Wise Man’s Fear” is 75% awesome. We were assured it would have to be 96% awesome before being published. And I would remiss to not mention the story of the Ultimate Chalupa at Taco Bell, which turned out to only be merely the penultimate chalupa.

Once that ended, book signing began. We were given a sticky note on which to write our name and the message we wanted Patrick to write onto our book. This was a surprise. I had minutes to come up with some witty/clever/strange line for him to immortalize on the pages of my book. In the end, I had Mr. Rothfuss write probably the dumbest thing he has ever written on a piece of paper:

Todós los días los osos comen todás las populacíon.

He said it was a first. I would imagine.

Important: This phrase finds its origins from Spanish class my freshman year of college. I don’t really remember how it came about. But I feel smart and bilingual when I say it.

List and I also got our picture taken with Patrick, but it was not our camera so I am waiting for the kind sir who took the pic to email it to me. I will post it after that. Rothfuss was also giving out custom fortune cookies from the same place List wanted to visit. I got an orange flavored one. I am delighted to report that I recieved my first ever fortune from the cookie, as normally I receive advice and lucky numbers.

When the flowers bloom and birds sing you’ll find a dead body in the cellar.